Today I learned that Camden has a clinical diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome. My initial reaction was relief. Relieved that we can get more help for him. Relieved that I'm not a bad parent. Relieved that he isn't a a bad kid. Relieved that when someone gives me a look or says something about the way he's acting, I have a real reason and not just an excuse. And then, I felt fragile. I have felt for a couple of months that I already knew what his diagnosis would be, and then at the same time I felt like maybe I was making a bigger deal of his problems. I guess hearing it confirmed made it real today. Hopefully things will only get better for him, I just couldn't help but think. Will he be one of the guys on the team that everyone wants to be friends with? Will he have no problem getting a date to prom? I just imagined things going so differently even up to this point.
No matter what, Camden is an amazing little boy. He is so affectionate. He is super smart. There is no other kid like him, and he has stolen my heart. I am blessed to have him... exactly the way he is.